The entire series of these posting by me in Feb of 2014, have actually had a theme to them…all leading up to this final one. Actors, in general, are indeed narcissistic and this is a fact that you really shouldn’t be bothered by…AT ALL. By definition it does make sensethat we are not only perceived that way…but that for about 98% of the actors I’ve met in my life…it is exceptionally true. There is a reason for it and I actually am not interested in discussing the reasons…but rather a little semantical angle on that fact. You see we also get called, self-centered, and again while I agree (in general) with that assessment of most actors…there is a little side angle I would URGE you to achieve if you can.
Take self-centered and change it to self-involved. You see to “be involved” is to be focused, passionate, and truly interested in what you’re doing. There is nothing wrong with that but the difference is that being self-involved is about “what you want to do and are doing” where as the self-centered / narcissists are about “me, look at me, what can you do or say or give…me.” Both situations are about you…but they have a very different foundation and also come out of you…in a VERY different way.
If you wish to succeed at ANYTHING in life to the top 1-2% then you will HAVE to be self-involved all of the time…and yes, occasionally be down right selfish. Again, nothing wrong with that, but this is why the “timing” of life means you need to make smart decisions such as who you’re in a serious relationship with, or marriage, or procreation etc. etc. Many of life’s scenarios do NOT allow for a healthy level of self-involvement or selfishness. And there is always a victim or collateral damage for something…to be that INVOLVED.
Still I urge you today, on the heels of the extreme recent changes I’ve made in my life, to take a real inventory on what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, and how TRULY committed you are to it. Because if you leave too much to chance, if you’re too involved in multiple things if you’re only focused on “talking about yourself” rather than having YOU be involved in doing things…you’ll just be “that actor” none of us can stand being around or dating. True success equals sacrifice, discipline, a level of selfishness, focus and yes…a high high level of being self-involved that others my define or perceive as being narcissistic. So be it.
So around mid-March you’ll see one of things “coming down the pike” in my near future that is MY version of being “for me.” I have spent some 22+ years educating and focusing on The Actors’ Network…and helping others. I’m proud of it, VERY proud of it, and am most thankful to all those along the way who have listened, learned, applauded me, thanked me and had success because of me…in some small way. But now, and for the rest of my time on this earth, I’m going to be turning the focus back to me, my creativity, my reason for moving to Hollywood, my internal passion related to the SHOW part of Show Business. Does this mean I’m putting down my interest and expertise regarding the “business of the biz?” Not at all, but it is the reason I closed the physical TAN studio.
So when you see my upcoming “little show” (that is by the way only 25% of what the whole show would be) get talked about and promoted by me (whether you like it or not) you will be looking at self-involvement. I’ve never been self-centered or narcissistic in my life regardless of anyone’s perception of me, I’ve just always had a propensity for self-involvement. So know that I did “Dirty Laundry TV” just for me. I’m not sure what it’s eventual life will be or whether or not anyone will like it…or even “get it” but it is one of the many things I intend to do and that will come out of ME…being self-involved about me and the creativity desire and core…that led me to Hollywood…in the first place.
If you’re not sure if or how to be self-involved without being self-centered then that is something for you to acknowledge and work on, but I am encouraging you to not just “do stuff” or “chase stuff” cuz someone else told you to. I’m encouraging to do what it is that REALLY turns you on and do it for you. As the old phrase goes: “Build it and they will come.” Now certainly in this crazy art we know that is not a guarantee because what you do, and how you do it, will mater greatly in if anyone will “come.” But nonetheless stay focused on the doing both art and business…and GET IT DONE. Be self-involved, do it for you, and make sure you keep people close to you who understand and appreciate what you’re doing and why. Let the others drop by the wayside because they’re only going to hold you down. They don’t do it to be mean or rude, they just don’t know themselves well enough yet to respect what you’re doing, and do the same…for themselves. Cheers.
Always on your side, @TheKevinE